We all have our own values, ideas, concepts about life and everything that is in it. All these realisations and insights comes from reflecting on our life experiences, conscious or otherwise. How do we develop on these insights while living in a world that expects a certain level of conformity ideas and expectations.
This is what I have been grappling with. First and foremost, it is inevitable that in life, as we live in a society, that is a certain need to adhere to set rules and ideas. The norms of our society also plays a part. We can rightly say that society as a whole (including work itself) could not function effectively if everyone could not find common alignment to do things in a commonly agreed manner.
The question of course is how, as a conscious and philosophical human, do we develop our own ideas and insights when we do not have the space to practice and deepen them. Do we get stuck in only the beginning stage of our insights? Every insights requires a certain level of processing and most importantly, practice, in order to find the veracity of it and if not, possible need to fine tune such ideas. Without the time and space to deepen these, the human being is stuck at the moment of insight and at the most, only inch slowly based on the limited time it has to ponder such things.
As we live our lives, its admittedly harder to do these. We fill many roles; in the professional, family and personal setting. Also our interpersonal setting with friends, families, significant other. All these relationships also imposes a certain level of expectations upon us and are sometimes the dynamics are so established that it becomes harder to move and shift these expectations.
My conclusion is for now to practice it in every way you can. If you can’t practice it with action, practice it only with your heart and intention. Transmute every action you do with the intention of the realisation that you are holding on to. So for example, if you are developing on the idea that there is no such thing as time because everything is now, then even if you are rushing towards a professional deadline set by others, you can still do your best work and do it as quickly, recognising the fact that there is a deadline to meet, but at the same time internally, hold the centered space that yes although you are moving quickly, you are at the same time centered in the realisation that there is only Now. Sometimes holding the space for these paradox itself has its own value in any spiritual practice. By holding the space for two polarities and existing in these space, it will also open up a new space for you to explore. The space in between Now and linear time.
With relationships such as family, children, significant other, then its about setting the space for such interaction with your love ones. I would assume that our significant others would be the people which we would have the greatest ability to influence in mutually agreeing with concepts and ideas and the need for sovereignty over our own notions. Its not easy I admit but its still possible, compared to for example our parents who sometimes has carved a certain fixed way of thinking over lifetimes especially in terms of how they relate to you. Sometimes the lesson in relating to our parents is simply in terms of honouring them as they are and accepting some bitterness when it comes to remnants of how they perceived us. But that is just a story as well and we can choose to unify that story.
While I do not have the answer, I only have the abovementioned suggestions. Whether spiritual or not, the ability to hold on to our own ideas and insights and having the space to develop on them in our own time and space is something that we all grapple with. In fact I do believe that its a perennial issue. Imagine our primordial caveman ancestors, choosing to go off away from the campfire at night for some quality alone time away from the tribe. Of course, being the wild, he would have to have some really serious thinking to do to risk predation to go off thinking alone somewhere else.
Much love and adieu my friends.